Being Hit Hard by the Father of Lies

10 For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse, as it is written: “Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law.”

I am cursed.

Right now my mind is swirling.

Right now my heart is aching with pain.

Right now I can only shake my head at myself.

Oh, my Father, I am cursed. I am gone astray.

I continue to make mistakes day after day no matter how hard I try.

I focus on one area in my life and neglect the others.

I slip and fall and allow the things that hurt You most into my life.

How can you love a sinner like me, my Father?

How can I be your daughter?

When I continue to hurt you as I do?

Daddy, I am stained with my sins.

Eloi, Eloi, please, I am sorry.

You've asked so little of me, yet I've been convinced it is impossibly too much.

Father how can I be of You?

I allow sleep to be a master of my life.

I let fear grip my heart.

I use words and have an unclean mouth.

My anger spills from my body with no control.

I judge my brothers and sisters and forget to show them Your unending love.

I take control of my own life instead of let you show me the way.

I procrastinate and take my time when You've asked me to be prompt.

I rush through my time with You, and all You want is my attention and love.

Rarely do I push from my comfort zone, I seldom speak of your love publicly.

The Father of Lies gets inside of my head and I succumb to his will and try to twist things into his will instead of listening to my Spirit telling me to step away.

Deep, dark, evil lies ensnare my mind and fill me with hopelessness.

The devil knows the fears and pains of my life and tortures me with them, Abba.

He refuses to give up his fight.

Spinning inside of me a doubt and fear I cannot comprehend.

I am sorry for forgetting how great a price Jesus paid for me!

How wretched am I? Why do I continue to let you down and break your heart?

When you would give your only Son just to save my life.

He gave His life for me upon that cross!

He was tortured and mocked and spit upon and laughed at, just so that I would have a chance to meet you in Heaven! Just so that I would have a chance to know and love you!

But Father!!

Yahweh!

The Father of Lies has forgotten this crucial detail.

JESUS SAVES

13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”

Our God.

He is....Father. Yahweh. Redeemer. Lover. Master. King. Ruler. DADDY.

The Father of Lies is just a tool to this world. He attempts to work his magic and tell us how wicked we are. He wants to try to steal us away from God. But he won't win.

He will not win my soul.

My soul is owned by a Being so powerful and so majestic that words cannot even begin to describe Him. My life is protected by a Man so large, but we cannot see Him. My heart is captured by a Father so loving and powerful that I fear His ability.

The devil has his powers. He can end my life if he tries hard enough. But fine.

You may end my life on earth, but I will be in Heaven with my Father.

I'm just a pilgrim traveling on this earth. This is not my final resting place.

God loves us. God forgives us. No matter how much we mess up, no matter what it is that we do when we mess up, as long as we still love and fear Him and seek forgiveness, we are in His home.

The devil may be right.

He does have a point.

We are cursed.

We are gone astray.

We will never be perfect.

We break our Father's heart every day.

But Jesus saves.

We are forgiven!

How incredible is that?

Daddy, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you!! Thank you for saving my life through your Son! I am so very sorry for my million and one mistakes. I'm sorry I break your heart repeatedly.

I'm sorry I try to take things into my own hands.

I'm sorry I put off your will and judge your children.

I'm sorry I succumb to my anger and try to hurt others on occasion.

I'm sorry I let the devil into my mind and let him twist things in my head so that I feel abandoned.

I'm sorry I blame you for the bad in my life sometimes.

I'm sorry I worry.

I'm sorry I continue to fail.

But I am trying. And I know you love me. Thank you for everything you've given me in my life.

Thank you Daddy.

Thank you.

You are Yahweh. You are Abba. You are beyond any power. You are stronger than anything. You are. The way you know my heart? The way you ease my soul? Father I adore you.

I am the daughter of a King.

You are my King.

Please go listen to this song. It will break your heart. It will make you feel so low. But then...oh how Jesus saves! It will make you cry. Father you are incredible! Please go listen. And please listen to Shane's story here.

xoxo

S.Graciebelle<3

How Will "Sunday's" Go?

Oddly enough, one of the first things that Ev and I decided we needed to cover was what exactly we would do (aka, sermons) each time we meet. We decided we would start by reading a bunch of books. We've got this long list of books to get through before we start the church. We'll do lessons from that and we'll also do video podcasts when we can and watch videos when we can.
I am a huge C.S. Lewis fanatic. I'm hugely obsessed with his works, especially The Chronicles of Narnia. So this is one of the things I plan on going through and finding topics to cover through Narnia. There is so much magic in the words he writes in those stories.
We also are going to go through Forgotten God and Rob Bell's books and so many others. The list is huge, but we've got the time. I'm going to cover the harder to read books and Ev is going to cover the easier to read books.
If you know of some really great books that would be good for us to read, please let us know.
This is going to be a fun and changing experience. Right now I'm happy with the progress we're making. We plan on taking all the time necessary so that this gets the time and attention that God intends. There is a lot that is needed to prepare for a church.
The first book I plan on attacking is something by Rob Bell. I've not decided which one just yet, but I will get that decided on in the next few days.
We hope you all are having a great month of August.
Please keep the people of Indianapolis in your prayers.
xoxo
S.Graciebelle<3

This is the Beginning

On August 1st, 2011 Evie and I made the decision that we needed to start a church.
Now, why we made this decision, honestly, we aren't too sure. It was late.
But we made the decision, nonetheless.
We were sitting on the porch of Starbucks talking about how much we disliked life at the moment. See, he's new to the high school life and the drama that comes with it. I, on the other hand, am new to this wonderful new world of being a college student and growing up and life is just gross and difficult.
We were talking about how both of us had sort of slipped from God and weren't doing what we should be doing. We realized that our small group had basically failed because none of us were committed enough. We realized that we had issues with churches and that we didn't really know what to do. We realized that we haven't found a church we like as much as Passion City Church.
So with all of that, we decided that we wanted to start a church in my living room. We decided that we're changing our small group to a church. We're going to create a church.
We don't know what we're going to call it right now. We don't know when exactly we're going to start this up but right now we've got a lot that we have to do until we're ready for this.
We're aiming for a contemporary church, no denominations needed. We've got a lot on our plate.
But we're ready.
So we want your prayers.
We want your support.
And here's the beginning (:
xoxo
S.Graciebelle<3